Real Talk

  Real Talk I have been putting off writing this post

 because, this means that this class is ending. 

I don't do good with endings or good byes.

Real Talk I am VERY shy, 

and on the inside I am screaming 

to show you who I really am.

Real talk I worry way to much

and get a troublesome amount of anxiety.

Real Talk: only 11 days left in high school 

and i don't want to forget. 

All the drama, the high school loves, dances,

 football games, and all my teachers over the years. 

Real talk: Nelson you are honestly the best teacher

 I have ever had! 

You have helped me come out of my shell

and taught me so much. 

 You get us and everything we go through. 

You are very good at teaching and so funny. 

I wish you could teach us in collage. 

You are incredible.

Real Talk: I don't want to have any regrets. 

I regret not being more outgoing,  

not trying out for the dance team,

and not asking that boy to the dance 

I don't want to go through out my life always asking,

 Did I miss out?

Because there is nothing worse than regrets.

Real Talk It's time to wake up and smell the coffee

 Because we are entering into the real world.

Letter To The Ignored

Dear Heart, 

                     I'm terrified of you. You are being overlooked and I know that. I'm afraid to listen to what you have to say.  You are going to tell me to take risks and I’m scared of messing up. You are screaming in my chest. I ignored you and listen to my mind. I have made you out to be the enemy, when all along you have been my superhero. All you want is for me to listen. I'm sorry! I'm ready to wake up, take risks, and mess up. I'm ready to start living.  Don't give up on me because I’m ready to listen.

Peter Pan state of mind

I want to be a kid again.

So I grabbed a cozy blanket with some popcorn and watched Peter Pan. 

That night I went to bed feeling young. 

I was awoken by someone tapping me. 

It was Peter Pan and he took me to Neverland. 

I was me again!

No more stresses, I was carefree!

I could imagine and be anything I wanted to be. 

My creativity was back and pouring out of me like a river.

With a small amount of fears and was willing to take risks.

Before I woke up I heard him say,

“Let’s go back to Neverland and never

Come back until forever ends.”

Trying not to forget

I remember the first day of elementary school and looks didn't matter.

I remember lunch time line ups.

I remember recess and we all used to play together, and having no clicks.

I remember lunch money stamps.

I remember wanting to grow up. 

I Remember

I remember acne, head gear and no friends

I remember getting a locker for the first time and always decorating it.

I remember worrying about getting to my class on time.

I remember

I remember no more packed lunches

I remember having my license but still having to ride the bus.

I remember procrastinating almost every assignment

I will always remember

I will remember late night dances

I will remember all the football games, and Friday night parties.

I remember End of term stress and tests.

I will remember our days dwindling away, and wanting them to stay.

I will remember you. I will try to remember all of you

I will always remember this class, and how amazing it truly is.

I will always try not to forget. 

I remember wanting to be young forever. 

Left foot. Right foot

As a little girl i used to wear my shoes on the wrong feet.

I would have so many shoes in my closet most of them with holes and so warn out. That many people would just throw them away. But i would keep them because they all had stories to tell.

Every one of my shoes could be an adventure book, waiting to be read.

They were filled with so many memories and adventures that they just couldn't hold any more so they would wear out. Then i would be on the the next pair of shoes filling them with adventures.

Now i look at my shoes and think on those would look cute with that out fit or those are only for special occasions. They are being wasted away.

They walk the same paths every day.
home to school,
school to home,
home to work,
work to home.
Not walking on new ground and exploring new places.

It gets me wanting to get out of my routine and get my shoes walking on new ground.

Fill those shoes and don't waste them.
So wear them on the wrong feet! miss match your shoes.
what ever you do don't waste them.

No Difference

Small as a peanut,

Big as a giant,

We're all the same size

When we turn off the light.

Rich as a sultan, 

Poor as a mite, 

We are all worth the same 

When we turn off the light. 

Red, black or orange,

Yellow or white, 

We all look the same 

When we turn off the light.

So maybe the way

To make everything right

Is for God just to reach out 

And turn off the light!

                       

By Shel Silverstein 

Scared and Exposed

I have opened up and let you in. with no cost to me

because you don't know who I am.

My souls done the writing,

now my head is trying to take over

and the protective robot inside

is fighting to come out.

You know my struggles, you know my fears.

Let's go deep in my roots

and back to the beginning of me.

I never got to know my dad.

I hate that I'm shy, and I worry too much.

I love getting lost in books, and sometimes my favorite day of the week is Tuesday.

I cry too much, but my mom says I'm just tender hearted.

I've been told I have long eye lashes.

I wish I could fly

I listen to sad music because sometimes I want to feel sad.

I doubt myself,

and I want to live forever.

So who am I you ask?

I'm just an ordinary human

trying to be extraordinary.

Sincerely Toni Hoover

Notes to people who will never read them

To the girl whose outfits inspired my style.

To the boy at Thai Village for being awkward like me.

To all the writers who let me get lost in your writing.

For the girl who complemented my hair when I was feeling Not so good about myself.

To the driver who let me in.

To the boy who liked me in 1st grade.

For the teacher who showed me wicked.

For the bus driver who held the bus for me.

To the inventers who let us have amazing technology.

For the Michael Jackson Fans for being crazy like me.

For the person who invented doughnuts (because they taste amazing)

To the dog, that would protect me not matter what.

To the friend who is now my enemy, for letting me finally spread my wings.

                For the teacher who dares us to take chances and live our life's .

To swear words for being the perfect words to say.

To pens for Being permanent .

For the world for letting us make mistakes.

                For those of you reading this and for those of you not. 

This is to all of you. 

Bird with out wings

 
as the light slowly faded and the dark night
engulfed the land, i sit here, hand in chin, wondering,
confused, deep in thought about what it was and what might be;

as the trees swayed to the gentle lullaby of the night,
sleep was the last thing on my mind,
restless mind and sombre thoughts manifest inside me;

my life has always been a dream,
a never ending chase,
often taking me to hell and back,
a dream that at times seem like a nightmare;

as i sit here and count the scars,
these tortured thoughts scream louder and louder in my mind,
a mind filled with dreams is now just filled with chaos,
maybe out of chaos comes order?

maybe one day? but time is my enemy,
i stand at the edge and wonder, as i look down,
wishing that something could happen,
i feel like a bird without wings!

                           By praveen kumar

We are all afraid.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid just like all the rest of you. 

Those of you who are willing to share your fears are trying to overcome them. 

There are so many things to fear in this world. Some fears can be overcome easily, while some take time and some you may never overcome. 

Can we really have no fears?

In our life time we are only exposed to half of the worlds fears. There are fears that we wouldn’t even consider fears that others do.

            So I’m going to open my door of fears and let and in and walk around.

I'm afraid of snakes, I'm afraid of raising my hand in math class. I’m afraid of traffic. I'm afraid of disappointment, I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid of lighting (I think it looks amazing I just have to be protected). I'm afraid that I won't live my life, and that I won’t have cool stories to tell my kids. Isn’t that all life is. Just stories..... I have dealt with loss in my life so I tend to attach to those are close to me in fear of losing them.

I’m afraid of these blog post and what and how I write them. I’m scared this class ending and that life will move on. I’m scared of change. I’m afraid of you, I’m afraid of me.  I’m afraid of growing up. We all need to have a Peter Pan state of mind and be young forever. I am scared of life. I’m afraid of you and what you are thinking right now reading this. I AM AFRAID.

Shout it out to the world I AM AFRAID! Don’t be afraid to say it out loud. Because I bet more people than you think would shout the same thing. We could all fear the same things. But wait we are all afraid. 

Drives

We have the music blasting, Top down.

While our hair is exploring the fresh free air.

Just the 2 of us, on a warm summer night. Sing at the top of our lungs! In that moment we feel time stop, to soak in this moment and this feeling. Because this feeling you don’t want to miss because its happiness. Where are we going? We don't know. Just as long as we are together. Our skin is soaking up the sun as we are driving through our home town seeing all the kids and there lemonade stands brings us back to our child hood.  

365

365 days is how much time you have to live.

Reality sets in.

You are panicked, what signature will you be leaving in this world. What will you be remembered by? Will you even be remembered?

These thoughts exhaust your mind.

You have 365 days to wake up and start living.

Is that what it takes for us to start living?

Hey did we not realize that every day you get closer to death.

So why not start now.

Live every day like it’s your last.

We never know when we are going to kick the bucket.

When you are old, wrinkly, and 90 do you want to have a cool story to tell?

You have 240 days to wake up and start living.

Relate it to senior year. We have been going to school for 12 years.

We are almost done.

Things become bitter sweet, last dances, last assemblies, last football games, everything is the last. Most of us will live it up; while others just are so done they don’t even care.

We got one shot at this life. Make yours unique.

You have 120 days to wake up and live.

Your time is dwindling away like an hour glass.

You’re trying to accomplish that bucket list.

Doing everything and anything you can think of.

Cause right now is when you start to worrying about missing out.

You have 1 day to wake up and start living.

Last day. The day of good byes, the day of confessions and the day of I’m sorry.

Last time using the emotions and senses of the human body.

Stop and take it all in. Feel the oxygen entering your lungs.

Take a look at the past 365 days and do you wish you had more time?

There never seems to be enough time.

New family

He's hanging around like a fly.

 Next thing you know i'm calling him dad. 

We try to clasp on to what we used to have,

but its slipping through our fingers like sand. 

He's trying to tell me what to do and i blur out his voice.

Now we are a family of 5 when it used to be 3.

I just want to make it stop

Death has taken away 2 of the closest people to me.

I get so angry sometimes at the one I lost. 

Thinking how could you leave me! WHY?!?

Missing out on so much. Their just gone, never able to make memories with them.

Only hearing the stories and watching videos is how you get to know them....  It’s not enough!

It’s all because of death.

It all happened to soon! I just want to go back in time and stop everything. Just to be with them and hug them.

I just want to make is STOP!

I just want to make it stop.....

But time slips away and life moves on and you will never be the same, always left with a hole.

Sitting here with my emotions raw, and being drained.

All I have left to say is that this life can be a real BITCH! But choose to stay and fight! You can do incredible things, you matter.

Choose to experience life

Choose to Be Happy

CHOOSE TO LIVE! 

The love for an artist

Press Play.

Your music sends chills down my spine. It brings me into a whole different world.
      I feel like i have known you for years.

 I connect and feel your emotions & energy in your song.
Your voice carries out of the head phones like music in the wind.

Life & bricks

Let's take a second and talk. 

Let's talk about all the BS we deal with. 

            Can we never catch a break!

We deal with:

1.     deadlines 

2.     traffic 

3.     hunger (we are teenagers we are always hungry) 

4.     sleep deprivation 

5.     our jobs 

6.     family issues 

7.     And much more. 

There maybe some people out there that don't deal with life and they either live in a fairy tale, or are robots. 

I totally understand why people snap.

There are people in our lives that will do little things to you. Those little things add up to be a weight of bricks on us and we are one day just going to dig our self out from underneath that pile and snap. Because we can’t handle dealing with that any more.  

   

Sometimes it's good that we are being slammed with bricks because it's causing us to throw these bricks back at life, and say Hey how you like me now! 

Why do we put up with it? Cause its life. 

Life doesn't care if it knocks you down and makes you bleed. 

Love thoughts

 
I can’t tell you what love is.

I can only tell you about my perception of what love is. I have been trying to come up with what to write about love for 7 days now, and what I can tell you about love is that it’s a hard concept that we all want to understand. 

            Does anyone know what love is?!

                    Cause I don't.

Love is everywhere! We have songs about love, movies about love, even freaking holiday dedicated to love, and cities of love. We have an obsession with the idea of love. We all want love.

There are 7,295,299,240 people in this world. We always hear that there is someone special for everyone. How do we find our 1 special soul mate? 

         

         We are Young 

           But love isn't

We are looking for love...

Is it under our beds?

Is it in our closets that we need to desperately clean out?

                    Where is the love?

Is it getting so lost in a moment, and feeling on top of the world? Like in the movies they are willing to give up everything for love. 

   

   Whatever Love is, I know we don't want to miss out on it.

Falling apart

I made the call that decided the fate.

Knowing what was coming was the worst fear we had.

We broke down when it came to saying our good byes.

As we neared the end I held on to every last breath. 

Every memory we had was flooding into my mind. Knowing that we couldn't create any more. 

Never thought the day would come when you wouldn't be there anymore. 

Looking into your eyes as you took your last breath.

Then everything fell apart. 

I AM REAL

Breathe in, Breathe out.

Oxygen is filling up our lungs & leaving while we exhale. 

That's how we are alive. 

Along with a whole bunch of shit that we don't need to get into.

 HUMANS ARE COMPLEX

Every day we wake up just expecting our body's to work. until one day something decides it wants the day off. That's why we have doctors.                          

we spend our whole life trying to figure out who the hell we are.

But there is something remarkable about being a human. 

We can keep advancing. We have such power that we didn't even know we hold. Humans are hard to understand. I don't even think we can understand in our life time.

But are we actually living? Or are we all just going throughout our lives turning into robots, not using the world to spread our wings.  Life passes you by, don't waste your time.

Is it our fears holding us back from putting our feet in the sand?

once we experience our feet in the sand we want more. 

while i lay here my skin soaking up the sun, 

and kids riding their bikes feeling care free and limitless. 

I think.... I AM REAL. I AM HERE. 

  

The day the clocks stopped

The phone dropped. 

I heard heart wrenching cries, and shock.

Life used to be IDEAL. Full of melody and laughter.

These days its crowded with tears and memorializing his past. 

we had to mature and take care of one another.

It happened so unexpectedly we couldn't quite grasp just how much we missed out.

That's the day the clocks stopped.

Beaver State of Mind

The fresh smell you filll us with.

 The freedom that we have.

 So simple and quiet you slip away from the real world. 

You can escape all your worries, just leave them at the gate. 

The happiness you bring us and so much closer we become. 

Get back to the box of crayons.

As children the world is at our fingertips. Creativity comes effortless. 

Open the box of crayons and you can create any thing.

As time moves on we progress to what we think is better coloring utensils. 

Our creativity becomes unfamiliar to us. 

We need to let go and get back to the days where we wore our shoes on the wrong feet, our hair was a mess, and we were able to imagine new worlds. 

 We need to get back to the box of crayons.

Becoming Human

I am afraid to expose who i am. With my identity hidden. 

I'll let my soul do the writing.

I am a person lost in a crowd, going by undiscovered.

My voice is fading into a whirlwind of sound.

We are just hovering down an endless path.

Are we robots?

Eventually our hardware breaks and that's when we start living.

Exploring the world to find our passions. We are all complex humans once we start breathing. 

We have to break through our skin of fear, and it can be unbreakable. if You ask how i know? Because i'm still breaking through mine.